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Natasha
Brooklyn, New York, United States
http://flickr.com/photos/natashajahangirbutt/ | and since i killed blogger, http://tashamotee.wordpress.com | be a happy picture everyone :)
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previously on sanctuary.
parting gift - fiona apple.
the sleepy one.
rejazz - regina spektor (respekt).
the way things are.
things should be different.
starting over.


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Saturday, July 08, 2006

the walk.

there are so many things we do not know of, that we do not think of. perhaps we're so insignificant that such intelligence chooses to ignore us. then there are some of us that walk in the crowd and take comfort in the fact that there are people walking with us, around us, all are the same and we are not alone. but to be in the crowd, is to be in the middle, what about the people ahead of us, those behind? where are they, what has become of them? i'm worried about them. i saw many walk past me, to get ahead of the crowd only to walk so fast that when they get to their destination, they are forced to look back and wait. may it be in darkness or in light, they must wait. waiting is a painful thing to do. i should know, i have waited and still wait. but i'm walking with the crowd, so we all are waiting together. there is no loneliness.

i look behind and i see some walk slowly, i want to walk with them. but i don't, i choose not to. i think i'm selfish that way, but then again everything about the human mind is selfish. even children are born out of selfish reasons. those who walk behind have much to look foward to, but nothing to look back on except for what they remember, all the physical things have somewhat disappeared. there is no one waving at them, no one standing with a smile on their face decorated with tears. it's all black, they are forced to walk ahead. as they walk they have no room to leave their footprints in the sand. all footprints have been left by those that they see in the distance, hence they leave their footprints in someone elses memory, and all importance ceases to exist. the footprint loses it's essence and it's just a mark that will fade away with time. all stories don't carry the potential to connect with other ones. for like poles repel. and today, this time they are less and less of opposites that attract. i don't know if that stands on any ground of common sense. and frankly speaking i don't care.

people take love as a name tag. you see it on the floor, you pick it up and you put whoevers name on it and wear it. and suddenly everything will fall into place. your life will be complete. it will have meaning? it isn't that way and you all know it. it takes time and alot of time to realize it. you need to grow. but then again who has time? life is short they say, you might aswell just get it over with right? there is so much contradiction when it comes to this, that it's disturbing.

after all is finished why can't people let go? when there is clearly nothing left, why not just move on and try to forget it. you have been given enough time. time is a ghastly thing to me now, it works wonders in its own way. i would say it's all natural to act this way, but... i don't understand it, and i perhaps never will. for i've been taught to let go and what's that word i'm looking for? aahhh yes compromise. everything is a compromise. i guess my parents did me good to teach me that. they taught me to compromise, i think i'll be okay as long as i keep on practicing it.

i'd like to fast foward into the next five years. i'd like to be safe (it's all in my head).

natasha took a picture at 9:10 PM | walking around in circles (4)

4 Comments:

i knows what u means .. and yeaar my computer broke down so i lost my msn and all that and too lazy to get it back again..lol....and wait till u hear the latest adventures from the adventures of Saady bhai..lol....

this latest adventure was just too much..kabhi online aya to bataon gaa !!

By Blogger Saady, 7/10/2006 2:04 PM  

Your previous posts showed wounds and unrest ,this shows signs of settling down . this ppl walking in the crowd set my thoughts running on it too.

By Blogger Punk Dervish, 7/10/2006 3:47 PM  

saady bhai: shukar hai. hahahahaha

punk dervish: yeah i'd like to think i've grown up? (understatement, hahahaha) but thanks :). i intend to stay that way. and i hope i do. settled that is.

By Blogger Natasha, 7/11/2006 7:21 PM  

"people take love as a name tag. you see it on the floor, you pick it up and you put whoevers name on it and wear it. and suddenly everything will fall into place. your life will be complete. it will have meaning? it isn't that way and you all know it. it takes time and alot of time to realize it. you need to grow. but then again who has time? life is short they say, you might aswell just get it over with right? there is so much contradiction when it comes to this, that it's disturbing."

the best thing i've read all week. :) do you mind if i post it on my blog and quote you?

By Blogger saba, 7/13/2006 3:38 PM  

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