Thursday, July 13, 2006
the starbucks sit-downs.
always sit down at starbucks and think to yourself - 'i may be fat, but for now i don't fucking care' and continue to drink your tall double chocolate chip frappucino (dccf). also when it comes down to the point where a venti mocha frappucino vs. a tall double chocolate chip frappucino - the tall dccf wins hands down. why? cause i'm cool that way.
is it just me or is it the season of love and break ups? maybe its summer? i guess like in spring when pollen is like marijuana and screws wih your mind, summer with its heat screws you with anger. heat and anger? am i making a connection here? tell me. i know people in different sets, all are finite, and i can make a nice venn diagram. thank God i'm in the middle. since i placed my self there i am happy, but slowly getting sick of the people who are standing to my left and right.
she's my bestfriend and it's hard telling her what she wants to hear without losing touch with reality. i think i've changed that way, so i tell her how it is. the truth is she'll be miserable but she'll live through it. i think that's my job to do that. and she knows, atleast i hope she does. five years is a long time to be with someone, i think you can actually say that you 'love' them. i think it's genuine. but if it's genuine wouldn't it be hard to let go, i mean even more hard? he seems to be okay with letting go, what about her? is she just suppossed to let go of five years and forget about it like how you forget about what you ate last week? i talked to him today, he acted indifferent. that reminded me of something - how easily i can act indifferent sometimes. it's horrible. horrible and sad. but i think i'm past that actually you know what i know i am. case closed.
she wore her name tag five years ago and watched it fade away only to leave a permanent mark on her, it did not fade away to make room for someone else, it faded away but her mind still sees it there, as new as it was 'long ago, yesterday - aqualung'. i like how old people are, they hate each other but they cannot live without each other, it's beautiful i think. i've rarely seen it, but atleast i know how it's suppossed to be, in it's own dysfucntional and beautiful way.
as much as i'd like too, i cannot save everyone. that's God's job - to know what's best and who needs saving. but i can try, only try and in trying i think we can save ourselves along the way and become better people. i cannot say i'm a good person, because i'm not, but there are people i want to save. somewhere, sometime, someday. i hope God sees that and i hope He gives me the chance.
sometimes you can fit people into songs, i heard her sing and saw my friend quietly fit into that space, that void where she thinks she may never get out of, i am going to make her see past this. i know because it's worth it.
'aankon say aankhein mila ka bolo,
jawab do, meray sawaal ka'
- by a friend who knows how to perfectly translate simple things into simple words :)
3 Comments:
end of the end.. only we can save ourselves.
interesting thgt going on in ur post. :)
very thinky thinky post tasha love.
i must go sit in a corner and ponder now..
oh, and.
'aaj raath bhee neend naa aaye gee'
that line kills me, everyevery time.
rude awakenings: thanks :)
discooo: *bows* and yeah man same here, also 'kab aao gaye?'
dayum!
