Friday, December 15, 2006
dar se dikha ja, shaam re. beautiful.
i'm blogging three times a day, heh.
it's odd. i find it suprisingly odd why i'm so hooked on this song. my brain is now spiral and has fallen into a miserable holding pattern.
she sings with such pefection and the music is just so addicting it feels something like home, wherever it is.
satao na tum aisay piya, main hoon teri buss teri
saanson main basa tera naam re
jadoo tunay aisa kiyaand if anyone asks me if i'm in love or something like that i will kill you. i am the undying source of angry/sappy/angsty music so let me be.
today i missed the most beautiful sunset, a sunset i had been waiting for ever since the start of fall. it was beautiful, sad and exactly how i thought it would be. the sky was painted in red-peach-purple and my camera was with me, but i could never have captured that moment. fences, cars, branches and highways blocked it all. the only beautiful sunset i ever saw in my nine years in pakistan was driving through nathiagali back to abbotabaad where everything about that city was beautiful. the city lights, the air, how close, crystal clear and painfully beautiful the stars looked. the long 'staying up the whole night till 5 am' talks. i don't know when i'll go back. i'd go back just to see the sky again. just for that.
a couple of days ago, after a bizarre dream i realized that words don't change anything, they don't make time go by any faster, they don't make people come back or you go to them. they're just some words said. thats why promises are easily broken. hearts are easily broken, because.....i don't even know what i was going to say. mamoo, i sometimes don't understand him, don't know what he's going through. it's so sad how all the people i have something with are so faraway. i have started to hate the phone, emails and msn. how much can you rely on this medium, its just better when you're in the same house, same city and you actually see the other persons face to know what/how they're feeling/saying, as oppossed to just voices, and written words and emoticons. it's a disease to be emotionally dependent on so many people. and realizing that you need them more than they'll ever need you and if they ever do need you one day, you can't be there because thats the way it's suppossed to be i guess - fate and all that crap. all of it is heartbreaking sometimes, but you ignore that fact because you cannot help yourself, you just can't deal with it. i'm not ashamed of it, but i'm not proud of it either. i envy people who can deal.
i'm sorry but who said the dil chahey video was great? i think it's just very ordinary. i just saw it on geo for the first time abhi, so yeah. i should take of my shoes, i've been wearing them since 8am, there has to be a limit to laziness, cause this is just insane. no saturday class tomorrow, but alot of math to catch up on. and house cleaning and maybe some portfolio work.
still listening to beloved, third day and counting.
dar se dikha ja, shaam re.
1 Comments:
Are you in love or something? :P
(I said 'or something' too! :D)
