Sanctuary: 16

Monday, November 27, 2006

16

it was a certain kind of bitter-sweet misery at 16. airports, cold floors. suddenly how different the air smelled and how it was always raining the day we had to come here. one song on repeat that entire summer, now my mind has no room to associate anything else besides that summer to it. we drove on roads to massachusetts, different little towns. to rhode island for a day. falling asleep as the sun set. that year i woke up to minty cold mornings and saw beautiful evening skies. i had a camera, i just didn't know how to use it.

"and in my heart i see
what you're doing to me
and in my heart i see
just how you wanted it to be"
sweet misery - michelle branch

one day i'll come home, to wherever it maybe at the time and realize that it was not really they way i left it when i closed the door eight hours ago. don't really know how it'll be. where will the keys go, how many steps to climb, how many windows let the sun shine in. how many branches break the smiling moon and how many cars chase after darkness in the presence of light.

eyes are open but thoughts have fallen and buried themselves deep in the ground, in a place where do you not go to after sunset. you just stand outside, lean against this stone wall and pray to Him for a soul returning to sanctuary and for yourself, because you know where you're headed, but you just don't know what happens after you reach your destination.

stephanie sings 'it's brutally just beautiful'

i guess it is, sometimes. somedays. somewhere.

i wonder how i'll write about 19. i have a camera, i know how to use it. maybe it'll be different? ihopeso.

one last time, a few more months and then it's goodbye.

2:33 onwards, it's perfect. it's a face that smiles in sadness.

natasha took a picture at 8:17 PM | walking around in circles (4)

4 Comments:

Three years to learn how to use a camera?! :O :O :O

By The Surreptitious Fabric, 11/28/2006 2:26 AM

"one last time, a few more months and then it's goodbye."

to what?

By mahnoor, 11/28/2006 4:39 PM

to the teenage years khota.

in a few months i'll be 20 and old.

By Natasha, 11/28/2006 9:18 PM

20 isn't old! You won't all wrinkly for another 20 at least. THAT's old! :D

By The Surreptitious Fabric, 11/29/2006 4:09 AM

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Photography/Flickr

Monday, November 27, 2006

16

4 Comments: